photo by Bethany Barker

Charcasm is a reoccurring column where Online Editor Charlotte Mansur dishes out controversial opinions.

The first day I drove to school, and every day since then, I have parked in the front row of the red parking lot in the tenth spot left of the main entrance. I used to arrive at the dimly lit lot every morning at 6:15 to secure my place, until I recently found myself without a first period and have had to settle for a subpar spot in the middle rows. While I thought not having to wake up at the crack of dawn was a blessing, I find myself missing my time spent in the parking lot. The bad drivers and blasted car stereos may make the parking lot seem like hell, the lot is a miniature society that needs to be respected. 

For starters, the people-watching is fantastic. You would think that the best action is in the front rows, but almost all the dumb stuff happens in the back because students think no one can see them. Arguments, almost-accidents and shady activity can all be seen from the comforts of your car. I know exactly how everyone’s day is going before I even walk into school. Sometimes you will even get to witness the early stages of a breakup or a meltdown over a final project. It’s like watching a melodramatic soap opera without having to invest in cable. 

Just watching the traffic around you is entertaining enough. If I had a dollar for every revved engine I heard in the morning I would have enough money to buy my own Maserati. I’ve seen people get pulled over, I’ve seen middle fingers thrown and I’ve even seen someone get rear ended. It is enough to make you want to arrive an hour early just to ensure you don’t end up with a freshman sized dent in your car. 

Another great thing about sitting in the lot is the ability to get homework done. It sounds like the nerd thing to do, but it allows you to procrastinate. Forget about waiting until the night before the assignment is due; now you can panic in your car 20 minutes before class starts. The car is a pressure cooker for homework. There are no distractions, all you can do is crank the radio and pray you will get your work done in time. I’ve even invested in a portable desk that hooks up to your steering and covered it with Kylo Ren and Shrek stickers – for motivational purposes, of course. 

For those of you who actually manage your time wisely, the car is a great place to sleep, too. When I don’t have any work to do and the people-watching is stale, I grab my blanket, turn on my heated seat and take a nap. Some might consider this risky business, but the school bell provides a natural alarm clock that has not let me down so far. 

The parking lot is underappreciated, and cars flock in at 7:10 a.m. without realizing what they are missing. I much prefer chilling in my Buick to staying at my house watching News 13. . So if the grey Toyota that pulls into my spot every other morning is reading this, treat her well, and be sure to flip off the white Maserati for me.